Desert Song

32 Nails

I find the most random things to do when I am procrastinating. I mean it isn't like I have had the past two and a half months to do things while David was gone! Now that I find myself with finals to study for, a house to clean before my husband gets home and those oh so random things that I 'was going to get done' still to do. Did I mention that I only have three days? Of which I have material that I am still studying. Some college professors don't seem to find it necessary to teach what is actually on the FINAL.

You must be wondering why on earth I titled this 32 Nails. It is actually part of random procrastination. You see I thought it would be a good idea to put up white lights around the perimeter of our bedroom. It'll create a relaxing ambience right? The stupid nails barely hold the strands of lights up and I almost expect them to come crashing down while I'm sleeping! And yes it took 32 nails to put the crazy things up. What actually started this whole escapade is the taliet from our wedding. I thought it would be nice to hang above our bed. I was hoping that the really neat plant hangers that I found at Lowe's would end up looking like something from HGTV. That wish was not granted. Instead it looks rather, um, well awkward, this thing hanging over our bed. I'll leave it up until David gets home and see what he thinks. Did I mention that you can't even see the hangar things? The taliet totally covers them up. I could have Winnie the Poo hooks for that matter.

Did you know that Kmart has a great sale on candles, table runners and ribbon right now? Seriously, it was not high on the priorities list to actually go to Kmart but I felt like going. That feeling really only means that you are going to spend money that you didn't really need to spend in the first place, but it is justified with the fact that you saved $21. That is some pretty serious savings, seeing that most of what was purchased was 50% off!!!

FYI- after you get married Kmart sales on cute tablecloths and napkins becomes a highlight of your day.
I guess it's the nesting gene, and no Sarah I am not pregnant.

So now that it is officially my bed time I guess I should start studying. They do say that the things you read right before you go to sleep you remember the most. cram! Cram! CRAM! Sleep.

So here is to all of you who ever have or are in the process of procrastinating! Happy studying!

the cost of sacrifice

These are the times where you think you will know everything to say, words of comfort and being able to relate to an experience. However, i have come to the realization that I have no idea what to say to my husband regarding what he has been through these past few months. I don't know where he has been, what he has seen, gone through or felt. I have no knowledge and won't seeing that he isn't allowed to talk about it. In some ways maybe it is best that i don't know the details whether they be good or bad. I just hope that G-d will give me the right words to say when David comes home. Of course there will be the 'I miss you' and 'I love you' but the difference is there won't be the sharing of experiences as usually happens when one is away for any length of time.

I never realized until this morning that silence and not knowing is a sacrifice. I am so thankful that my husband is willing to make this sacrifice and serve to protect our country and the freedom that we believe in so deeply.

be home soon!

so i have been a terrible blogger the past couple of months! as my mom puts it i've been in "survival mode". Which is true, it hasn't been easy with David deployed; it is the first time that i have ever lived by myself. I've been keeping busy with school, work, Natzar and trips to Macon.

The good news is that David will be home in the next few days! I can't wait to see him!

in betweeen: the time between coming and going

I'm here to meet with you

come and meet with me

I'm here to find you reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong

As I long, draw me to your arms

As I stand and sing your praise

You come, you come and you fill this place

Won't you come,

Won't you come and fill this place

as i began to write this blog, the song "Meet with Me" started on my to play on my Pandora station. i was wondering just how to word everything that I'm going through and feeling. I don't know if there really are words; it seems to be a time of waiting, not knowing, bracing for change and praying that I can hold on when that change comes.

Every time that i hear the chorus to "Meet with Me" and it talks about waiting... i see myself just standing with my arms open wide and HIS wind blowing on me, renewing me, strengthening me. I guess that is how I feel right now, longing for more of His presence to come and fill me.
Lately I have come to see just how empty I feel without the constant feeding from the Word, as well as not having body of believers to go and worship with. The saying is true, you don't know how good you've got it until it's gone.

David will be deploying within the next two weeks. There isn't a set date, so naturally that is a little unsettling. But then I ask myself, why am I so dependant on a date? By now I should be used to the un-methodical life of the Air Force.
I know in the end it will all be alright, David will go and I will grow. I will learn to be self-sufficient on an even greater level.

We have loved Natzar becoming part of our little family. While he can definitely try our nerves and patience with the house breaking, we absolutely love him. He really is a sweetheart and David has loved teaching him tricks. I am amazed at the diligence that David has with training him, I hope I can keep it up when he's gone!

College however has been somewhat of a disappointment for me. I expected my classes to be more difficult than high school, but this is not the case. no worries, I will complete the classes. Next semester I just want to be challenged more.

Holding on and pressing in,
Lindsey

Natzar: protector

Yesterday I started college and David surprised me by bringing home our puppy!
We had fallen in love with Natzar (sounds like "nuts are") about a month ago, but it wasn't working out to get him, we were still getting ready to move into the townhouse.
I wasn't sure if things were going to fall into place and was just waiting to hear when David called and asked me to help him get something out of the car. There was Natzar and David with a huge grin on his face. I was ecstatic to say the least. We had really been debating whether or not to get a puppy; the deciding factor was David deploying and I needed company and security.

Also before we even moved or had seen Natzar, we felt like G-d had chosen his name which is Hebrew for protector. Natzar has been great the 36 hours that we have had him so far (I know it's silly) but he really is a good dog, very even tempered and docile.

We adopted Natzar from Underdogs, a program that places 'underdogs' with a good adoptive family. Turns out our friends have known the founder of the program for years! G-d really has worked everything out! They think Natzar is about 8 weeks old, and he is a mix of yellow lab and pug, completely adorable. Right now we are sitting on the patio enjoying the breeze while he takes a morning nap.
He has been following me around the house and sitting at my feet. To say the least he is a lot of comfort seeing that I spend quite a bit of time alone.
David and I are both so excited and so thankful that G-d has provided and worked everything out. It is the best feeling to be IN G-d's will and receiving his blessings.

shalom and ahava,
Lindsey, David and Natzar!

beginning to heal

So, the procedure of burning my nerves began tuesday. all went well and i felt great yesterday. they can only do one side of my neck at a time so the right side (which wasn't done) hurts more than ever now, but it is normal.
as a side effect, i have a numb spot on my shoulder, but i'd rather have that then a burning sensation, G-d heard my prayer!

i am so happy that something has worked! praise Adonai!

thank you for all of your prayers and i'll keep you updated on how this all proceeds.